I always wonder how anyone can work with passion and absolutely LOVE his or her jobs. Like wake up every morning with energy and no procrastination, thinking of online games you can play at work while brushing your teeth and drag your feet to work. How did they do it? After ‘camping’ in Face book (due to ultimate boredom at work and unrestricted internet access), I realized, I have 2-3 friends out of 300+ who love their jobs. About 100+ are still studying, another 100 jobless or in national service the remaining in limbo... I think only a full 50 are working. If you remove about 20+ who do not really know if they are allowed to make an exaggerated proclamation of love about their jobs... about 1 in ten love their jobs. – I hate this, because I am on the ‘otherside’. The view on the otherside is sad. I mean it, all I do at work is look forward to ‘cheating’ my lunch (that extra 5-10 mins makes my adrenaline rush like mad) then sms-ing my dad saying ‘can go home earlier today?’. Every day I crossed dates to the end of my probation so I can leave without leaving a bad impression. Why am I living like this... sometimes I wonder. Is it because I am in the wrong job or do I hate working...period. If so, I am so screwed. Last night, I asked my boyfriend if I complained as much in my last job as a personal assistant to the biggest baby in the world. Which, for your information sounds alot like heaven to me (as I am in hell). He said I did complain... ALOT. This is not good... Either it mean that I am a bitter person who secretly enjoys hating everything (like Shrek in Shrek 3 or my manager) or I hate working or I hate waking up early. 45 working days and counting... that is another 450 working hours and 27,000 working minutes. AND YES I AM STILL CROSSING OUT DATES :(


I believe the 'greate being above' is always watching over me. For instance, putting me in situations which I hate to be in to make me a 'stronger' person (I prayed to be whenever I'm in some crisis). Therefore, I am now in a company that is stingy (no. 1 hated trait), narrow minded (no. 2) and serious moral problems (no.3). These 3 are like the classic favourites on my hate-list. 1) Stingy My cubicle is very near the pantry, thus, I can hear almost everything. My ladyboss who is also our human resource manager ( I believe it was a parachuted postion) said loudly to our general secretary 'No company in Singapore has a pantry that provides everything OKAY. I believe we are the only ones that pay for the hefty electrical bills (generated from the microwave, kettle and fridges that are ever so common in other companies). You guys should feel appreciative but instead, you are helping with the upkeep.' Firstly, the pantry is NOT DIRTY.In fact, it is one of the cleanest I’ve ever seen (corporate-style). Even though the company does not employ a real cleaner (done by a male Bangladesh worker), the female employees help clean up as and when after they have used it. I’m not sure what the ladyboss is angry at, but it seems to me that whenever she sees the detergent half-empty or a speck of something2 on the basin, she will start her row. The funny thing is, if she’s such a clean freak (the inference I make from her daily row about hygiene and how some type of fungus will grow and we’ll all die) why does she have mouldy cheese in her private fridge, rotten chilly and a disgusting odour everything you open the door? Therefore, I just think that the part on ‘giving’ (allowing its employees to use the pantry-which all companies do) is not sincere. Therefore, it becomes STINGY. How can you not allow your employees to use the pantry just because they forgot to re-fill the detergent or the soap? 2) Narrow minded They hired me because they wanted ‘new blood’. But so far all the ‘new blood’ that I’ve been injecting has been rejected because they ‘don’t like’ or they ‘don’t think I understand’ or they find it ‘not special’. I’m like ‘WTF’.... and ‘WHY DID U HIRE ME IN THE FIRST PLACE-WASTE OF TIME!’. In addition, they have this thing of not approving your leave if you are not in a dire situation or when feel like a short holiday. 3) Serious moral problems Whenever an employee is sick, medical bills cannot be claimed in full, only a certain percentage, because it is deemed as unfair to the healthy employees. To me, it sounds like the healthy employees are jealous of the benefit and would not mind to exchange it for poor health, just so they can get some benefit. LAME, STUPID AND FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE HEARING THAT SOMEONE WOULD RATHER BE SICK. There you go -my dire situation.... I am crossing dates to my pay days and the end of my probation so I can lie to them that I love my job but would want to pursue a post graduate when I feel stupid (for killing unnecessary brain cells at work) everyday.





I always feel compelled to blog when I am working because my procrastination and complaints have to go 'somewhere' and usually if you throw it here, it doesn't involve a resignation or cross-fire curses. SO... here I am. I want to blog about this particular person in my office. I cannot remember his name but he is damn bloody irritating. SO irritating and disrespectful, it is easy to pluck up courage to go to his table and punch him right in the crotch. Even though he might not feel a thing cos my arms aren't exactly the wonderwoman material but its worth the embarasment. Let's get to WHY he is such a pain in everywhere else in the body... He is an engineer and he always demand things from people. Yes, like 'Why u like that??' instead of.. there's a million better ways of asking. He disrespect his colleagues... One who happens to be an Indian (from India; with a bachelor's degree) and a manager like him too. He just doesn't CARE.. and I admire him for chalking up so many enemies from his day-to-day operations. If he gets run over by a truck he wouldn't even know who is it because its simply impossible to keep track up. The way he talks on the phone is crazy too.. he just assumes everyone is deaf. If it were an e-mail, half of the text will be '!!!' and caps locked all the way. My room is about 10metres away and I can really clearly how he talks to his workers/purchaser/engineer/ partners. Its disgusting. Why why why isn't my room on another floor or another country away from his....





I used to have this best best best friend when I was in primary school through to secondary school. We were sooo close and the best thing was we only lived 10mins walk from each other. We never stop talking to each other and we tell each other almost anything. Actually, she tells me everything (or so I thought) but I didn't. Because she was a judgmental person so I have to watch what I tell her, if not, I won't become this 'perfect' (someone she perceives me to be and not a perfect person) friend for her. Then there are occassions where it was too much to handle and I burst out crying in front of her and started pouring everything. She has this 'thing' that makes me think that my problems are immature and do not require much consoling. Therefore, during my childhood times, I always feel that my problems are not as important. So, we only talked about hers or gossiped about others'. In conclusion, I accepted and lived with the fact that she's a narcissist. I was so 'into' her that whenever she told me she hated a certain person, I would follow suit loyally. PSLE came and we went on our separate ways, she went to a better school and I went to a school with green uniform. She said, we all (all people in Hong Kah Secondary School) look like cleaners. Surprisingly, I wasn't even angry because I was so trained to agree with her. In secondary school, I made another bunch of great friends. These group listened to me and empathize me whenever I have to go for band practices (which I hate deeply), had bad break up (u know girls n boys won't know a thing about love when they are 13 or 14) and some girls who bullies me just b'c they think that one of the girls' ex was after me. Then I thought to myself 'why should I let this BESTEST friend of mine walk all over me?' (considering the no. of times she cancel our outings to go out with her 'cooler' bunch of secondary school friends (yes! those were her actual words)). We went out on and off and before prelims, I just stopped talking to her cold turkey. Because she just cannot contain her joy of doing so well in front of me (didn't do so well)... I was so pissed at her insensitivity. Anyway, years after, I met her dad on the bus. He said that we should continue being friends cos.. (i can't really remember). Then, I really cannot be bothered. Because I know she hadn't changed because she bad-mouths my cousin (who was her JC classmate) to me when we met somewhere. Now, whenever I think of what she was, I STILL feel angry and disgusted. :s... Have I not grown at all? Part of me is curious how she's doing now.. I'm not sure why I secretly hope that she's still the same narcissist years ago. :s... I think I just want to be 'right'. There you go, a hatred buried for about 10 years, and I am still working on letting go. I hope one day I can say to her 'I wish you all the best'... Ok, thinking about that reminded me how she talked about my cousin.


After observations and some hearsay... I am confident to say this





I wrote on some old friend's wall asking him how is he... he replied 'What a buzzkill...' and I deleted him off FB. He's an old friend whose ex had fake boobs.. I decided he's still the bigger baby. You just can't have a 'relationship' (real or normal or the ones where you say 'i love you' and not your boobs) with someone who went under the knife to have bigger boobs.. Its just so 16 year old frat boy.





Whenever I blog from my office desk, it would mean that I'll be logged off from my gmail and be 'unreachable'... So I have to be quick! I hate my job. Its so.... taking care of my boss's shit basically. Its just a lot of follow up without knowing that its done. Thats what I do, creating double standards for nothing. :S... since I'm hourly paid I don't mind 'wasting time' but after sometime, it gets really irritating and frustrating. It's just not challenging in a good way, and thus, I'm not motivated... I'm thinking of leaving, but I'm not getting any interviews... I'm so depressed.





Hmms.. getting a bit lazy to blog ever since work started. :( I know its a bad sign when I start acknowledging it, it would mean that you guys will see less of me. I will TRY.... everyday. :) Btw, I find Xiaxue's whole love story thing very touching... I really wish her all the best. There's always someone for everyone... IF Steven Lim can find his soulmate who is not into his 'money' or 'fame' or.... any kind of 'craziness', its really .... *shakes head*...








These are just some new topics that my favourite blogs are raging about... ... trip to nepal... ... trip to disneyland... ...endless clubbing and partying at some random 22nd birthday... ...new luxury shoes/bags/ just things we can't afford... How to compete if I am not doing anything? I only surf facebook and look at their blogs... my life is... quite boring. :(


Ok... now the tough part (picking out new blogskin) is done.. I'm left with the archiving... can someone tell me how? It just keeps shifting to the extreme left in black font on black background!... Hmm... or can someone teach me how to add '>>>older posts' like most xanga blogs... ^^

:l♥ve:l♥ve:l♥ve
My future picture will be here.. be patient




denise.lee
Old enough.. wise enough..
No..no.. don't try to assume.. you don't know me.







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