Thursday, May 17 ♥
l♥ved, Its my party n i cry if i want to...
This is so 'ma fun'.... troublesome...
This is why, my reluctance to celebrate my b'dae increase steadily every year..
Besides the fact that i'm GETTING OLDER (never a good thing for any women), hitting the big 2 is just painful. I can't imagine blowing 2 big candles when the memory of 1 big one is still as fresh as cold storage's anything (they're the fresh food people remb?)...
Also, its the time where u ... or rather i become a selfish+sensitive bitch because its MY DAY. ok.. inevitably.
Its starting to get on me now. Because i actually have some friend who said i shld just celebrate next year because.. it'll be my 21st. I'm like.... zzZZzz... Because u can't be 20 years old TWICE. And its not compound interest!
I thought it was quite mean of that friend to say such a thing.. i wouldn't be around next year b'cos i'll prolly be having my exams n down under.
AND YES... i wouldn't be around soon... cos i'm really going. I've been waiting that a REACTION to come by but NO.. NONE. Nobody gave me a REACTION or something like 'i'll miss u' or u know, just any kind of reaction. I really doubt my existence in everyone's hearts eh. Its hard not to... imagine U in my shoes. Isn't getting a bit doubtful already.
Ok... the insecurities are eating me up.
Anyway.. after 20 years of b'dae celebrating, i'm kind of tired dealing with myself and waves of emotions. I should just make it as regular and as normal. ya.. like a regular thing...